SANTA FE, NM – A recent survey conducted by the University of New Mexico has discovered 75% of art labeled as “Native American Art” is made by white men with ponytails.

WASHINGTON, DC – Airline passengers traveling this holiday season will soon get a little extra from their trip through security as the National Security Agency will soon be offering aura scans.

CLEVELAND, OH – Responding to political pressure, the Cleveland Indians baseball team has changed its mascot from a Native American to a man from India.

SNOWFLAKE, AZ – After seven months of intense preparation and careful planning, Daniel Short-Tree, a member of the White Mountain Apache Indian Tribe in Arizona, has filled a lawsuit against the country of England. The suit, witch seeks $2,000,000,000 in punitive damages, accuses England of inflicting undue hardship and emotional distress upon Short-Tree and his family. Among the causes of Short-Tree’s alleged distress is England’s persecution of the Puritans, causing the religious group to immigrate to the Americas “thus beginning the end to Short-Tree’s family claim on the land.”

PHOENIX, AZ – While driving to Phoenix from The Grand Canyon, Mississippi residents Harold Studamaker and his wife Jean stopped at the Native American owned Cliff Castle Casino for some fun and gambling, but left with only disappointment and confusion.